Transgender and a black woman
The author identifies as being transgender and a black woman. People of colour have been discriminated for centuries, and for this reason, the author’s upbringing has been a struggle.
Being a woman of colour, she has had to deal with many difficulties such as racism and hatred, and now, she is faced with the challenge of opening up to the world about her sexuality. She grew up witnessing violence, riots, and daily street battles with the police together with other women in the streets (Mock, 2014, p. 16). Women in these groups are the minority who come from low-income families and live on the streets. They face humiliation and harsh treatment from the society who see them as a threat. This reality of things prompted her to hide her true self from society. She and other members of the group’s response to societal cruelty have moulded them to behave, talk, and see the world from a different perspective.
Society expects every member to conform to the set norms without questioning. It is blinded and has no realization of the inevitability of change. Those that fail to comply with the established laws face varying punishments. First, the author sees silence as the key to survival for any member of the group (Mock, 2014, p. 15). Living life without disclosing secrets to the world will ensure that one is not seen differently. She lived a life per the societal standards and disregarded her happiness for her to fit in and be seen as typical. Secondly, one has to learn to lie to herself and others. Living a lie is among the most challenging things ever, but the author insists that this will protect one from harsh treatment (Mock, 2014, p. 14). Apart from the authors’ close family members who knew her sexuality, she hid her true self from the world. She established a relationship for her to belong. Stereotypes have resulted in transgender, and black women to feel ashamed of who they are and perceive themselves as not worth the same way society does. Detaching oneself from the idea of society changing and being open to diversity guarantees a safety net.
Hostility from society has dire consequences on members of these groups, especially those living on the streets. Most of them have been victims of rape and abuse. Perception of transgender women being painful and unbearable; according to the author, they become a reality. Individuals who have been molested and ashamed plan their revenge on the whole society and become criminals where they destroy properties and steal items to avenge for the adverse treatment. Most of these people on the streets have nothing to lose; hence, they will destroy and disrupt activities to express their dissatisfaction with the authorities and community members who judge and discriminate them by their skin colour and the choice and freedom of their sexuality.
Mistreatment and unfairness of the people that associate with these groups have led them to change accordingly. While some have positivity in the reactions, they get from society, others have developed hatred and anger as they feel inadequate and misunderstood. For instance, due to the rejection and adverse treatment they receive from other members of society, they have resulted in violent behaviours and disturbing the peace that is enjoyed by those that look down on them. They demand recognition and acceptance from the general public through riots and encounters with the police (Mock, 2014, p. 16). Even though the author has been dehumanized and treated differently due to her choice of embracing her sexuality, coming out into the world and declaring her sexuality has given her confidence. She has acquired a new personality and her ability to voice her stand. When she addresses people, she is described as being unapologetic and able to share her experiences with others that may feel trapped in their bodies (Mock, 2014, p.16).
Since the world has recognized her as being “exceptional” (Mock, 2014, p. 17), she is viewed as a role model by many that she inspires. She is an advocate for those that are still undecided and afraid of resentment from society. She believes in equality and everyone’s right to find love, live a good and secure life. However, Mock states that for her to be seen as an achiever, the world needs to know her experiences and the oppression she faced (2014, p.16). Through her difficulties, she can now motivate others like her to forge through their battles and embrace themselves. It is through the world accepting her that she changed her believes and behaviour towards life. Hence, a lively and accepting reaction from the world will enable others to change their attitudes and contribute to their communities’ growth through diversity. The change generated from breaking the silence and being true to oneself has enabled the author to be optimistic about the future of transgender and black women and other groups that need to be recognized.
My teenage years were filled with loneliness and fear when I discovered that I was interested in girls. I tried being in several relationships with boys for some time to be sure if my feelings were real. My feelings never changed, but I continued to date men for fear of being excluded and seen differently. Neither my close family members nor my friends knew about my true sexuality, and I had no plans of telling them. After this realization, I found it weird to still have my women’s best friends around without thinking of my feelings for them. By the age of 24, I decided to date ladies secretly, and since then, I have not been in a relationship with a man. I opted to date women secretly for fear of being discriminated against and judged for being different. We arranged to meet at odd hours to minimize the risk of being caught. Despite being able to express myself in these planned visits, secret meetings become monotonous. After two years of hiding, I embraced my sexuality and told my family members, who turned out to be supportive of my decision.
Stigmatization from society has led to this group members to hide their true selves and deny themselves from the world. I was forced to meet in secret and live a double life in a society that preaches freedom of expression and association. It is impossible to walk freely in public while holding hands with another woman without judging and expressing their hate and disgust. The society view of lesbianism has resulted in me feeling vulnerable and suspicious of other people. Trusting others even when they are genuine is a struggle. With the negativity and misplaced stereotypes, I am shamed sometimes and often doubt my life choices. For years I had harboured anger and vengeful thoughts whenever I felt that there was no place for me in the society. I found it hard to control my temper, primarily when people discussed same-gender relationships—dwelling on what other people will think about my actions and being fearful of their misguided judgment. Even with the new rules in place that allow people of the same gender to be in a relationship and marry, the hostility and rejection from the society have not changed.
The limitations that result from society’s rigidity demoralize women who identify themselves with this group. They are not able to freely mingle and find suitable mates for fear of misplaced identification. Some women tend to be confident and energetic, especially those who have been through violent and harsh environments, unlike those who have grown up in a controlled environment. They become shy and have low self-esteem in dealing with negativity from other members of society. Some who choose to isolate themselves fall into depression while others are overwhelmed and sometimes decide to commit suicide. Anger and other negative emotions may cause some to react differently depending on the treatment directed to them. During my first years, when I was still unable to understand why I had feelings for other women, I turned to drugs. I started taking drugs every time my emotions become overwhelming, and soon after, I was an addict. Attending therapy and sharing my struggles with another person lifted the weight off my shoulders. Given the right platform, lesbians can voice their concerns and demand acceptance and integration into community matters like other groups.
Since identifying myself as a lesbian and informing my family and friends, I have learned new ways of handling my shame and guilt by being positive and seeing things from all outlooks. Unlike the past years, where I had low self-esteem and felt inadequate, I can confidently talk and express my feelings and still allow others to give their opinions even when they are negative. With the new laws in place, I can report any cases that may undermine my sexuality and assist other people in heterosexual relationships. Consequently, I have been encouraged by my experiences and the many ways I had to fight my battle to be accepted for who I am, and for this, just like the author, I am writing an inspirational book. The book will feature the struggles and the decisions I had to make through the tough times. My attitude and behaviour towards people started changing when I was treated as a human being with her rights. Society gave me a chance to be myself, and now, I want to share my thoughts and life with those that have not yet discovered themselves. It is true that when the society shows acceptance and willingness to accommodate those that choose different paths, the end product is reformed and more focused individuals.
In conclusion, all groups in society contribute differently to ensure their growth and development. The society’s ability to accept and absorb these groups of people will ensure there is safety, cohesiveness, and guarantee advancement through the sharing of ideas. These groups need recognition and acceptance. Finally, integrating and formulating policies that include all society members will assist in amending social relations.
References
Mock, Janet. (, 2014). Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love, and so Much More. New York: Atria Books.