Stimulus and Response
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Growing up, parents, teachers, and even some people that I look up to always echoed Charles R. Sindwoll that life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% of how we react to it. Up to just recently, I thought my elders told me that because they also grew up hearing it and thought it would be something nice to tell someone who is in school and learning more about life. My reasoning and conclusion came from the fact that I had heard it so much that it was just a cliché to me. Then my thinking and conclusion took an interesting twist in summer last year. I fancy reading books on personal growth and development because I believe I am a work in progress. I need constant rejuvenation and renewal of my thinking and replenish my knowledge using great books. Hence there was no better way to spend my summer break last year than with a great book from Stephen R. Covey. I have read many books on personal growth, but this one just happened to touch a nerve in me.
In his book, “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” Covey illustrates many habits, but the one that stuck with me is habit number one. Habit number one is being proactive, and under that habit, he talks about a stimulus and a response. A stimulus is what happens to us, and a response is how we respond to whatever happens to us. Covey illustrates that between a stimulus and a response, an individual has the freedom to choose. Additionally, our behavior after the stimulus is a product of our own choice, and we cannot blame circumstances on how we behave. It was hard to understand at first, but after delving deeper into the book, I finally realized that the behavior we put forth is a decision that we have made but not the condition we are in. So, Charles R. Sindwolls words echoed in my mind and made a lot of sense.
This realization made me change many things in my life, which can be attributed to the change in only one aspect, my attitude. I realized that I had always thought that I am a victim of life all my life, and that made me get reactive instead of being proactive. Also, pro-active people are value-driven, and if you have no values that you uphold, you will always be reactive since you clearly do not know who you are or what you stand for, and you can be easily swayed in any direction. Moreover, the knowledge that I have the freedom to choose how I react to things made me gain control over my life and what I decide to affect me. Since last summer, if anything negative in my life happens, I take a step back, tell myself that the way I react to the subject matter makes all the difference. Furthermore, through the book, I learned that since proactive people do not let conditions dictate their attitude, their values precede conditions.
Hence since then, I have decided to be value-driven. I believe in four major values that keep me going, integrity, honesty, show concern for others by being kind, and exercising patience. Therefore, if I am faced with any task, challenge, or life issue, I bring forth my proactive self, apply my values since it is clear to me now more than ever that life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.