My Story
Am an easy to talk to type of guy. My friends say I am like a blank piece of paper that one can scribble anything on “with pleasure.” I am an extrovert who blends with anyone, either young or old. The truth is being hard to describe the type of person. I cannot tell even who I am; I can’t express myself. All I know is I let people define me in any way they wish, and that’s precisely how I will behave. I am afraid of enjoying the burns; I consume everyone around me; I want them to open up to me so that I can swallow their experiences, sadness, and joy. I enjoy their tales but am afraid of telling mine because they will help heal me as I do with them, but they will leave me with scars that I can’t handle. I am an alone ranger, but that’s not how they know me. That’s not the page I’ve allowed them to read. If I let them in, I’ll get attached, and I will love them more than I love myself, so I’d rather exist in a glass caged prism, to be seen, to be felt, but not to be touched. I want to love, but I don’t want to be loved. I am afraid of time, how it changes things around me, creates empty spaces only to be filled temporarily but then in a snap of a finger, am back to my loneliness.
Being an extrovert, I didn’t calculate my life; I failed my math. It’s a pity I cannot solve a simple itch of the mystery of the unknown. I am determined to crack it and prove myself, but I get helped, hence ruining my chemistry. My friends always seem better than me; they tend to disagree with almost every decision I make because they are perfect. They make me forget that this is my world I need to shape on my own, but as I fool, I let them dictate it and run it as they wish to like it’s a political regime and am waiting for my reign to set up my own rules too. They know I am good at what I do, totally good and even so close to perfect, but they broke me with all their negativity. I Am longing for a chance to live my life, where I reach my dreams, goals achieved, and to experience where I can maneuver all possibilities, and at last, I will be ME!