Death and Bereavement
Summary
Life is a precious item, and parents always have a wish to get healthy and strong children. This is not always the case, as some get children born with diseases that are life-threatening while some are chronic and affect their growth. The issue raised by the author is the reaction of the parents on how they cope with having children who are having these problems. The author explores the feelings and how the children are cared for in the family and its impact on other children’s well-being (Bluebond-Langner, 2000). From her point of view, illnesses have a huge impact. They cannot be just related to how the deficiencies are detected, rather on how the families’ members hold on and continue with their lives even after encountering the difficult situations. Accepting fate and learning how to live with people with chronic, life-threatening diseases gives them the will and the desire to live. It avoids stigmatization, and this is the main idea that the author carries across when he says that there is a need to learn how to continue with life even when faced with these difficult situations. The support they offer and the appreciation they show the people with the issues contribute to their comfort and help improve their willpower to live and accept themselves as they are.
The life-threatening diseases, always considered life-threatening, always change the family set up as the children with these conditions require constant care. The resources needed to care for them may be expensive, and they may end up draining the family, both financially and mentally. Care for such children is always hectic, and it can either make or break a family. Living with children with chronic conditions requires patience and understanding. They may need gentleness to understand their conditions and feel that they are not being segregated in the family (Bluebond-Langner, 2000). Children have pure hearts, and how they are treated means a lot about how they take life. Giving constant and deserving care gives the children a feeling of being appreciated, and they do not feel like they are being put aside by the family. Appreciating them and showing them they matter gives them a reason to smile.
In an instant, the family members treat them as outcasts, the children feel offended, and their conditions deteriorate. They fail to feel their importance of living, which is dangerous to the children’s recovery and survival. The care and attention they receive from the children who are well deciding on how they feel they are appreciated in the family (Bluebond-Langner, 2000). This attention and treatment differ from one family to another, and it is dependent on the condition that the child is suffering from. This type of care and attention gives the children a sense of belonging and a feeling of having a family that supports them despite their conditions. Children have no choice and decide how they are born and which conditions they have when born. This should be taken into consideration by the parents who have children living with chronic and life-threatening conditions. They deserve care and attention even more than the children who are well.
Critical Analysis
The author looks at the effects of the chronic, life-threatening conditions on families and the well being and growth of the children and the families. There is no guarantee that a child will be born free of these conditions, and the best that a family can do is appreciating the child and giving them care and attention. The decision and the dedication to giving care to them and understanding them motivate them and keep their check conditions. The author looks at how other children, the healthy ones, and how they perceive the children have impacted their family and how it runs (Bluebond-Langner, 2000). Having a better understanding of the conditions and how to show care and attention to the sick children affects the family and how it is run. Being the central support system, the family means a lot to children and their growth. The parents who are blessed with these conditions sometimes become drained mentally, financially, and even socially. There are instances that the families have been segregated and they have felt put aside by society. Lack of support and understanding of society’s conditions is a dangerous thing as it may set aside the family and make them feel alone, which will affect the care they give to the children. It may also make them feel the children are the cause of the community’s distancing, affecting the well-being of the children. The author looks at society’s perception and its impacts on the way they view the children and how they struggle to get care for them.
Children living with chronic, life-threatening conditions are faced with other conditions that may have a chance in their body as the immunity is compromised. This means that the children require constant care and attention to ensure any change is detected and cared for. This gives them a more comfortable life. The immunity in the children’s body is generally low, and the chronic conditions they suffer from may make them susceptible to attacks by other diseases. The conditions may worsen if they fail to get the attention and care they deserve and in the time they need them. Conditions such as these are common in society, and different reactions are seen when parents get a child with such conditions and the way they take the children and the care they give them.
From the author and his views, there are diverse reactions to the conditions and the realization of the children they bring forth. This decides how parents perceive children (Bluebond-Langner, 2000). The perception may change with time, and they may become more loving while others never change, and they view the children with the conditions as burdens. This, according to the book, affects getting the affection and the support from groups giving support to children and families having the children suffering from these conditions. The support and care they get from the families, and society determines their living and well-being. The children who have lesser receptive families suffer prejudice and lack proper care from the guardians. The care of the children determines the comfort of their lives, and the ones who receive poor care may have a lesser life that may be clouded by hardships, poor health, and even being distanced by the family and even the society. Lack of support systems and the care they deserve makes their lives full of struggles as they are not fit to fend for themselves and take care of their personal needs (Bluebond-Langner, 2000). The trauma and stigma associated with having children with the conditions make it even harder to get assistance. It may force the parents to decide whether to abandon the child or stay at home with the children and care for them. The decision to take regarding caring for the children makes the parents stressed out to a point where they reject and lack the skills to care for them. The decision also affects how the other children view and care for the children with the conditions. This has a huge effect on the growth, acceptance, and life expectancy of the children living with chronic diseases. The conditions dictate how the children will feel life treats them, and the care decides on the comfort they feel despite having the life-threatening conditions they were born with. Better education to the people who are in constant contact and care of the children with the problems decides the level and amount of care they offer the children and the comfort and comfort they have to offer to the sickly children.
From his perspective, how the family members carry themselves and how they react to the situations they are placed in by the children’s conditions determines the level of understanding of the conditions and how to live with the children despite them suffering from the conditions. There are different ways people react, and it determines the after-effects shocks that they get and the level of care they will give the children with the conditions. The acceptance into the family and not looking at the deficiencies of the people living with the conditions make the family members accept the conditions and care given to the children. This is a huge step towards caring and living with the children despite them having the conditions that threaten their lives (Bluebond-Langner, 2000). Many different conditions affect the children and make them need constant care from their parents and other siblings. The author looks at the benefits of accepting children living with chronic and life-threatening conditions. This makes the parents and the siblings learn how to better care for their sick siblings and give them deserving comfort and better live with them, thus increasing their life expectancy. This is important as some parents and families lack the knowledge and ability to understand, accept, and care for the children living with the conditions. The process of accepting the children and offering them the care they deserve is hard, and parents need to understand the condition that their children are suffering from to avoid having myths and misconceptions about the same from society, which may be detrimental to the growth, care, and providence towards their children.
Relationship to Death and Bereavement
Families are composed of diverse people, and they have different conditions. For the families that have children living with chronic and life-threatening conditions, they have a hectic time trying to offer comfort and care to them. It is a sad thing as each parent’s dream is to fit a child physically and not suffer from conditions that may be threatening their lives. It becomes a sad instance to the family when they get the children suffering from these conditions. The author looks at the families’ difficulties as they care for the children having these conditions (Bluebond-Langner, 2000). From the outlook of things, the sadness and the feeling of lack by the families can be relatable to those who are bereaved as they have no view of when their children will be well or whether they will live to see another day. The life-threatening conditions make the parents and the other siblings sad, similar to mourning after a loss. The conditions threaten the family’s happiness as they constantly worry about the child and their comfort and well-being. The families live under stressful conditions where they dedicate the resources, time, skills, and thoughts to care for the children with the conditions. This drains them of resources and energy as caring for the children is a hectic and demanding activity. The children require round the clock care, which gives the parents a sad feeling when they see younger children who are healthy being independent while they have to have a constant reminder of their child’s condition who is dependent on their care for all their lives.
Death and bereavement are associated with sadness and mourning. Having unwell children, whom one knows will have no chance of outgrowing, gives the parents a sense of mourning, and it is similar to the incident when there is death in a family. The presence of a child suffering from life-threatening and chronic diseases makes the mood in the family somber, which affects the development of the family and their happiness (Bluebond-Langner, 2000). The constant reminder and need to care for the children with the condition make the parents lack the comfort and happiness associated with having children who are well and of the same age. Lack of happiness and the stress associated with the care and association with the children living with the conditions make the family live in sadness, similar to a family mourning the loss of their loved ones. The uncertainty of the children’s future with the conditions make the parents be in constant worry about the well being of these children, and this worry turns to become tears in the hearts of the parents as they all have a dream of having a child with a better tomorrow. They fail to see these in their children with the conditions. The worry and constant thoughts about the children become depressing to the parents and the siblings who feel their kin are suffering. The desire to one day sees a better future or the children’s prospects overcoming the conditions becomes a constant worry. It leads to sorrow, similar to that of families who are mourning.
References
Bluebond-Langner, M. (2000). In the shadow of illness : parents and siblings of the chronically ill child. Princeton, N.J.: Princeton University Press.