Family Violence
Family violence is a common challenge facing many countries globally. They are abusing behaviors in which the individuals gain power over the other person. Family violence includes a range of emotional, sexual, physical, economic, and psychological torture towards children, women, and elders. Unfortunately, most of the family violence is left unreported to the police or the right institutions that deal with domestic abuse due to the fear of discrimination or further abuse. This has caused many people to die in silence, causing diminished physical and physiological health, decreased quality of life, and reduced personal productivity. Family violence got no limits; it happens regardless of race, religion, culture, or socioeconomic status.
After campaigns against family violence for many years now and encouraging individuals to encounter such violence to speak out, fortunately enough, I met one lady who was ready to talk about her experience with family violence. It was a long interactive interview with unfortunate encounters that the interviewee experienced while growing up. Mary said that her father used to intimidate and terrorize her while growing up because she did not perform well in school like her other sibling. Looking a little embarrassed, Mary told me she was always the last student in the class despite working so hard in class. This always agitated her father, causing so much hatred towards her. After asking Mary the type of violence she faced with her father, she said her father used to barter almost daily on very small provocation. Consequently, the father would verbally abuse her Infront of other siblings. It was evident from how Mary clutched her arm as if she was still hurt in pain and facial expressions.
According to Mary, she never realized it was maltreatment until her father almost strangled her to death. Sadly, Mary never reported such maltreatment from the father. Unfortunately, she feared the father might chase her put of the house if she dire reporting the case to the police. Mary chose to die in silence and endure her father’s maltreatment than being sent away from home. This is the same case affecting several people who are facing family violence.
Consequently, the father’s threats to kill her if she reported the case made her much more afraid to report. Actively listening to Mary’s case, there are several effects she suffered while dealing with her father. Mary said his father made her feel so insecure, unwanted, unworthy, feel isolated, and distrustful. All these made her withdrawn from the other children and siblings. She said she became a loner and introvert. Bitterly, she said her experience is one of the things she can never wish, even her worst enemy. Painfully, Mary told me the father made her life so hard while growing up, something unforgettable in whole life. Full of emotions, Mary sobbed that although it is over fifteen years now after the experience, the memories are yet very fresh on her mind.
Mary outlined the long term effect of maltreatment encounter from the father. Such effects included mostly psychological consequences that are manifested as low self-esteem, reoccurring depression, and difficulty creating and maintaining relationships. She reported, she no longer trusts people’s intentions towards her. This, according to her, has resulted in making life so hard, thus becoming an introvert. She said that sometimes it is difficult to deal with your issues and problems without involving other people to give their advice and insights. She painfully blamed her father for putting her in such a condition. She strongly condemned any family violence and advocated for serious punishments for the family members who practice it.
Mary said the first coping strategy was admitting that she is being abused. That was long after five years of abuse. She said validation of the situation is an important step and strategy. It always ensures safety. Mary withdrew herself from other siblings, especially when at home, to avoid any mistake. She also ensured every duty assigned to her by the father; she did it perfectly to avoid being beaten up by the father. In school, Mary always tried working so hard to avoid punishments from the father. The survivor said that the situation at home become unbearable that she sought help from her relatives. She reported that it was the start of her breakthrough since she felt loved and wanted by her aunt she went to live with. After that, Mary was able to visit a therapist who greatly helped her move past the incidents. The victim happily reported that she forgave the father, which made her heal from such abuses.
Before we ended the interview, I asked Mawhetger has any plans of helping children and people in general who are passing through what she went through. She happily reported that she already has to collaborate with the children’s rights department in the country and other non-government organizational sectors to end family violence, particularly child abuse. They are doing this through campaigns on child abuse, putting up tough punishments for the abusers, and encouraging children to speak up whenever abused. Consequently, she said plans are underway to build up homes for maltreated children. She said her happiness is to see other children having peaceful lives, happy, and doing well in their lives. Mary sadly said no child deserves to go through what she experienced while growing up. Mary finished by saying that sympathy is the last thing domestic survivors are looking for when telling their story, listening, believing, and supporting them is the only thing that can save them. Lastly, Mary said, “If you are a domestic abuse victim or survivor, please know this: You are strong, and you are not alone.”
Similarly, I also have a personal experience with family violence, which is about three years ago when I was physically and emotionally abused by then partner. Looking back, I realized how much I was brainwashed. I was, at the time, thinking that we loved each other. I am happy now that I got the courage to walk out of that relationship. I intend to accomplish this to assist others in understanding how, as caring friends, health care workers, and concerned friends, I can greatly empower family violence survivors and save lives.
Sur I am not surprised by family violence, but how people have tried to normalize it. Family violence has been happening each day across the world without much attention and solutions given to it. People should not underestimate family violence; any cases should immediately be reported to curb its spread.