SCRIPT COVERAGE
Title: A DOWN-AND-OUT SQUATTER SEEKS REFUGE IN AN ABANDONED HOUSE
AUTHOR: Mark Lyon LOCALE; n/a STUDIO: n/a SETTINGS: n/a PRODUCER: n/a FROM Screenplay, 18 pages PURPOSE: to inform BUDGET: Medium ELEMENTS ATTACHED: n/a DRAFT DATE: 6th April 2011
AGENT REQUESTING: n/a COVERAGE DATE: n/a PREPARED BY:
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GENRE PRIMARY: Narrative
SECONDARY: Revenge and Forgiveness
CHARACTER BREAKDOWN
JONOTHAN: dedicated charitable man, who is able to learn from his mistakes. He is so welcoming and possess empathy.
TEDDY: an addicted alcoholic who is on a mission to revenge the death of her sister. He possesses high judgment capabilities because he rethinks his decision to commit murder.
MISS LYDIA: a stalker and good speaker in analyzing personal attitudes.
LOGLINE
A devoted charitable man who had recovered from mild addiction to gambling. His goodhearted nature made him welcome a stranger who was almost murdered but fortunately, he chooses to forgive him.
SYNOPSIS:
Mark Lyons narrates the script Mistakes. He starts the theme by explaining that mistakes are a normal habit that everyone is prone to fall, the victim. From one instance to another, anyone can make a mistake, which most of the time may b small things. However, the author narrates that sometimes we may make big mistakes that actually shocks us. The mistakes may be so horrifying and cannot be rewilded. When mistakes happen, they change the different aspects of our lives. Our lives start falling apart, and the impacts of the mistakes can be felt in our lives. Further, Mark Lyons explains that the and one have to pause a bit to wallow in despair.
Jonathan is the main character in the script, and the author uses him to teach the effects mistakes can bring to our lives. However, he has gone between a rock and a hard place and witnesses the rough side of a mistake. He has been battling a gambling problem for some time. He almost lost his house to auctioneers because of the habit. However, the habit seemed irredeemable he was able to get over the vice as time went by. He is now devoted to charity work and spends most of his leisure doing charitable works. His main activities include helping the poor and looking after homeless children in his neighborhood.
He spots a homeless, distressed man named Teddy, who was squatting inside a forgotten house along the street in his usual errands. After watching the man. The condition of the man draws his instinct for generosity. He welcomes Teddy to spend the night in his house, and he offers him a meal and a beer to drink. The two exchange joyous pleasantries; strangers eager to learn about each and having the best companionship
Little does Jonathan know that he has welcomed a dangerous man in his house. One morning, the cops break into Jonathan’s house, and Jonathan is shocked to know that he was living with a criminal. He has taken his mugshot scotch, and he had taped it in the basement near his house. He had also illegally taken Jonathan’s pictures; the cops ambushed him while parking the pictures. During the conversion with the police, Jonathan shockingly comes to terms with the whole glaring revelation. Teddy was somebody he had acquittance with. Sometimes back, he had killed her sister, and Teddy was her little brother. He was conscious of the situation when the cops stated that teddy was found with his mugshot. Teddy was found with crime tools such as daggers, and the police had to take him away.
Jonathan walks into the house and meets a note on the counter; Teddy wrote the note. The note described teddy’s intention. He stated that he had been waiting for an apology from Jonathan for a long time, and he even had contemplated killing him. He wanted to revenge her sister’s blood. The note outlines Teddy’s bold decision to forgive Jonathan because of his devoted work of the charity. By doing his exemplary work of helping the downtrodden and those who are deserted in his society, Teddy chooses to spare Jonathan’s life. The house’s condition as the two men who met as strangers signifies a moment of transformational and wise decision. Teddy narrates his disturbing mission of revenge to a man who had taken her sister’s life. But after weighing and evaluating the noble roles of Jonathan in society, he embraces him and forgives him. The script ends in a reunion mood.
COMMENTS:
The script A down-and-out squatter seeks refuge in an abandoned house is a classy material that tends to narrate a rejuvenating story of how mistakes can make one a slave of unconsciousness. The characters are well framed; the dialogue depicts the emotion of the theme. Although the plot at a time is unpredictable, the emotive narrative is remarkable and educative. It demonstrates that when we make resolute decisions, we are capable of overcoming our mistakes. It also teaches that good deeds can come in handy, especially when faced with a dangerous situation.
Generally, the story is good and uplifting. At the beginning of the script, one keeps expecting the story may end in a nasty way, but fortunately, that is not the case. The story also seems to run long as the author has framed it in an 18 pages document. In my own thoughts, I think it could have been possible for the author to compel the whole work in a 12-page document or slightly above this. Teddy’s VO is contained in approximately two pages, and as you read through the material, at times, it starts getting a bit ponderous. The title of the story also does not fit with the narrative. It is hard to learn what the story is going to be about by scanning the title. Therefore, the title loses its significance in the script.
The last flashback is likely to leave a new reader, confused. The story captures teddy emptying down the cocktail as his VO is heard. One is likely to wonder if this occurring in the past? As I read the script, I believed this was a shot of him in the forthcoming future, after he has battled his personal evils. The script also sounds like it is slow-paced, but the lessons contained in the plot are good. Besides, the dialogue spacing in the script was slightly off, and it is hard to determine it is not easy to grasp the theme of the narrative. The choices of the word also may be difficult for the unknowledgeable reader. In a larger part, the story read slowly while some of the descriptive texts that I think could have been tightened up along many areas in the dialogue. At the end of the script, Teddy’s final VO sounds fluffy. The author seems to waste a lot of time and space when he introduces the character of miss Lydia who has no important business in the narrative rather than to show that Jonathan is a good person.
On the other hand, honestly, I enjoyed the script. As I perused right along with the dialogue, the narrative of the engagement between Teddy and Jonathan sounded natural in most of the parts. I just felt a little padded, as I have indicated. Overall, the script was well done; surely, this was marvelous work done. The story is meaningful, and gloriously captures its theme. Before I read the script, I was so anxious because I was expecting to encounter some horrible thriller with stabbings, debauchery, blood, shootings, and profanity. Instead, I discovered a nice and well-articulated story of forgiveness and a cool ending that I believe it delivers a good message. Moreover, I find the characters in the narrative to be developed and realistic. They help to develop the theme of the script in a commendable way. They did a nice job for me as I read the story because I could connect to the main theme. Also, the author’s dialogue was on the nose, especially after the cops were introduced.
Generally, the script was well articulated and ran its theme in a much broader to make every leader understand the meaning of the story. It carries a noble lesson of forgiveness that should be emulated by everyone in society.
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(SCRIPT) RECOMMENDED: XX CONSIDER: PASS:
(WRITER) RECOMMENDED: XX CONSIDER: PASS: