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Exercise 5.1

The first and third are assertion statements, while the other three are factual statements. The revision of the second, fourth and fifth statements are as follows respectively;

1. Viewing the pictures of the devastation in Haiti following Hurricane Matthew should move the viewers.
2. The convenience of an online class requires self-discipline and motivation for it to be successful.
3. For Adrian to develop a strong desire to rescue abandoned pit bulls, she needed to look after her family’s dog.

Exercise 5.2

The first, second, and fourth statements are general thesis statements. Their revisions are as follows respectively;

1. In today’s society, discrimination appears in many forms due to racial or social status.
2. My job demands too much fieldwork and a lot of time in the office, which undermines my family’s relationship.
3. Communities affected by violent storms suffer from property destruction due to flash floods and cause people’s death.

Exercise 5.4

In this paper, I will discuss the causes of Asthma, which include exposure to smoke, chemicals, and allergic reactions. In this statement, there is a topic and position, but there is no forecast. The forecast of this statement should explain to the audience the nature of the point you want to deliver to the reader. Therefore the statement should read as follows, “Asthma today can be a dangerous medical condition if it is not cared for diligently, it is a hereditary disease and it is caused by other factors such as allergic reactions and exposure to chemicals and smoke.

Jogging is an enjoyable aerobic sport. The topic is the dominant part of the thesis statement; it lacks position and forecast. It makes it a general thesis statement. The statement’s position should elaborate on how jogging can be an aerobic sport that is enjoyable while the forecast should show the benefits or importance of the sport. The revision of the statement should be, “Jogging is an enjoyable sport that many people who wish to remain physically fit in the morning or evening, and it helps in weight loss, strengthening of bones, development of bones, improves on the blood circulation, and prevents the occurrence of communicable diseases and infections among many other benefits.”

The crime rate is increasing in the U.S cities. The statement only highlights the topic leaving behind the position and forecast part of a thesis statement. It does not show or explain why there is an increment in crime in the U.S cities and the causes of this problem. Revision of the above should be, “Crime rate in the U.S cities has been gradually increasing over the recent years due to the high unemployment rates and increased drug and substance abuse, that has led to lives being lost, rape especially that of young females, and underperforming businesses due to insecurity in their area of operation.”

Living in an apartment has many advantages. It also lacks a position and forecast, which are part of a thesis statement. The position should point out why an individual should go for an apartment, whereas the forecast will guide an individual on what to go for in an apartment. In revising the statement, it should read as follows, “Living in an apartment guarantees an individual high standard of living that permits negotiable terms such as security of the area, electricity, water availability, the location, accessibility to necessary services such schools, hospitals and markets and what puts the apartment in a better position compared to other living styles.”

Children’s toys can be dangerous, instructional, or creative. The thesis statement only shows a topic lacking position and forecast. Therefore, this makes it a general statement. The reader needs to be guided on why the above statement was made with what focus and intention. Reviewing the thesis statement should be as follows, “Children toys are manufactured for a child’s learning purpose to enhance creativity and offer instructions, but if not checked, they can be destructive and make the child gain bad behaviors.”

Work cited

Not, Argumentative Essay On Marijuana Should, et al. “Thesis On How A.” (2010).

Hadiani, Dini. “THE STUDENTS’DIFFICULTIES IN WRITING THESIS STATEMENT.” Semantik 2.1 (2017): 80-86.