Errors in the introduction:
Using the sentence “this essay will explore all aspects of spanking” is not an effective way to introduce a topic. The writer should not announce what the
What to do to make the introduction better:
The writer needs to start the introduction with a grabber such as an anecdote or a shocking fact.
State the topic or the subject matter of the essay that will form your discussion in the body.
State the essay thesis.
Corrected Introduction:
“Spare the rod and spoil the child”. Most parents interpret the phrase as disciplining their children by spanking them to inflict pain. Some parents go to the extent of inflicting extreme physical damages that see their children develop permanent scars or disability. With time, I have learned that the idea of spanking children is not an effective way of instilling discipline. There exist better ways of instilling sense, understanding and discipline which do not involve inflicting pain. Spanking children can be harmful because it can cause psychological trauma; it can leave lasting physical scars and injuries, whereas there are effective and longlasting ways to teach discipline without inflicting physical pain.